How to Step into Your Personal Power

Canva - Woman Stands on Brown Surface at Daytime.jpg

Are you ready to regain control over your life?

Are you tired of reacting to every little thing so that you feel exhausted and overwhelmed all the time?

Are you ready to know that being YOU is your superpower and that you can create everything that you desire?

What is personal power? There are many different definitions on the internet but my definition is the power you feel when you can handle anything in your life. It’s an unwavering belief that you can have, be and do anything that you desire. I believe personal power is the key for all the happiness, joy, abundance and success. I believe that it’s the key to creating everything that you want in your life.

How to Step into Your Personal Power

1. Think Bigger

Most people are only focused on what’s going on in the here and now. They focus on their problems, they’re stressing over their blessings, or they live in anxiety so worried about what hasn’t happened yet and may never happen. They are so wrapped up in their own drama or other people’s drama that they never think about what’s possible for them.

The most successful people know that you have to first envision it before you can create it. If you only see problems and negativity you will only get more of that. Start thinking about how you want your life to look and feel 5-10 years from now. We are the only creatures on this planet that have the power of imagination, use it to imagine a life that would make you so damn proud. Imagine doing work that feels meaningful and fulfilling, imagine making an impact and being incredibly abundant while doing it.

2. Understand YOU are Not Your Thoughts

We have something like 60,000 thoughts a day and most are from things we’ve picked up through our environment, life experiences, and a large majority of them are mental garbage. The negative thoughts we have tend to play on a loop in our mind, over and over, reminding us that we’re not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough, not tall enough, not skinny enough, etc… When we realize these thoughts are not our own we can begin to plant thoughts in our mind that do align with us, we can chose more positive thoughts.

3. Use Your Emotions as a Guide

Thoughts + Feelings = Action

If you have negative thoughts and are constantly reacting to your life with negative feelings/emotions how do you think your action is going to look? You’re going to go through life with your head down, unhappy, depressed, feeling like everything is against you and in turn you will be attracting negativity everywhere you turn. We can use our emotions as guides, the worse we feel, the more negative our thoughts have been. When we start choosing better thoughts we will feel better.

4. Recognize Your Triggers and Patterns

Do you go around reacting to everything? Someone cuts you off on your commute to work and you get angry. Your kids don’t do what you told them to so you feel resentment and frustration. Your boss is on you about a project at work so you feel stressed and anxious. You check your bank account and immediately it makes you feel awful and like a failure.

What if you could learn what your triggers are and chose not to react? What if you could wake up with the intention for how you want to feel and all day you are actively choosing that feeling? You would feel more powerful, right? When we know what triggers us we have the power to not react in the way that we always have. If you start to notice in your life, we have patterns that replay on a loop just like the negative thoughts in our mind.

In a marriage, your spouse says that one thing in that tone that you hate and it sets you off. You begin to argue and before you know it, you’re arguing the same argument that you have every single time. How did you get there? It’s a pattern.

By choosing not to react in the first place you step into your personal power and you’re choosing how you want to feel instead of reacting to outside influences. Will you always have this amount of control? No, probably not at first because this is a learned practice. It has taken you years to create the pattern, it takes time to create a new one. Know that you may fail over and over again which brings us to the last key piece...

5. Self-Appreciation is the Key

I saved what I believe is the hardest for last. Do you love yourself? Do you tell yourself how awesome and smart you are? Do appreciate your curvy body? Do you look in the mirror and tell yourself how beautiful you are inside and out? Do you love yourself even when things aren’t working out for you?

Loving and appreciating ourselves is one of the hardest things to do. We are told from a young age everything that we’re doing wrong, all the ways we should be different, how we should try to fit in and conform, and years later we don’t even know who we are anymore. We have to know that loving and appreciating ourselves is the first step to personal power as it affects everything in our life.

I almost took this part out because it is so different for everyone but it matters and that is your connection with Source. You are a human body with a soul, an inner being that is pure positive energy. Your soul feels nothing but love for you and everything around you, the further away you are from what your soul feels about you, the worse you feel. Your soul is your connection with Source/God/Universe and you can tap into that connection at anytime. You find it in the quiet spaces of your mind when you are appreciating something or in meditation. This connection is where you will find your peace, creativity and joy.

Most people stumble through life not understanding their personal power. How amazing would it be if we stopped stumbling and became creators in our lives? You have to know that you have the power to choose how you want to feel and you have the ability to create your reality. Once you start on this journey your life will become more fulfilling and so much more fun!

Let me know in the comments, are you ready to step into your personal power?

xo,

Kim

P.S. If you need help creating a big vision for your life, download my Personal Power Workbook.

Are you posting and hearing crickets?

Why is no one paying attention to content?

Have you been pouring your heart out creating content and posting but no one seems to be paying any attention?

You set up your website and your social media just like you were told to do and got to work. You’re spending so much time creating blogs and posting but every time you post something you hear nothing but crickets. You know you could help so many people if you could just get them to actually stop to read or listen to your content.

I have some tips that may help you get more engagement and build quality relationships that will be selling your products or services in no time!

Know Exactly Who You’re Talking To

When creating content think of that one person that desperately needs your help, find out where they hang out and post content that solves their burning problems. Be consistent, the statistic is we have to see something 12 times before we decide to trust or buy it, so don’t feel bad about posting often.

Connect with Video

Written blogs are great but most people just skim and barely read anymore so having video will help them connect with you faster. Besides creating live videos, create quality video content to post in your blog posts, on IGTV, your Facebook page, YouTube and LinkedIn. (If you just went holy hell how will I ever post to ALL those places, trust me it takes no time and gets your message out to so many people!)

Build Relationships on Social Media

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been reading a great business book and go to find the author on Instagram and they are either no where to be found or they have 6 posts and they haven’t posted in two years. I understand that we can’t be everywhere all the time but find out where you ideal client is hanging out, Instagram is great place to share more of who you are and behind the scenes stuff. Have your social media buttons easy to find on your website and remember your industry colleagues may be on Twitter but your ideal client may be on Instagram and wants to know more about you!

Get on O.P.P. (Other People’s Platforms)

Share you knowledge and build your audience faster by being interviewed for podcasts, written and video blogs, or guest post. I’ve been contacted right after one of my interviews aired for coaching, so yes this is a great way to get yourself booked out! By getting on O.P.P. you will build your audience and credibility so much faster and make great connections along the way.

Create Your Community

Using your Facebook page or create a group, connect with your community of followers, stop talking to them and engage with them. Post things so they can go, “Me too!” and maybe you have a hobby or a belief that will deepen your connection with your true followers even more. Pull back the curtain and share more of who you are… your story, your personality, skills and the people and things that you love. If you would like to learn more about building a personal brand go here.

Have you been hearing crickets with your content? Let me know in the comments how you plan to change that and if these tips helped you!

xo,

Kim

How to Build a Personal Brand

Blog How to Build Personal Brand

Let’s first talk about what a personal brand is not… it’s not your logo, your font or your branding colors.

Building a personal brand is the act of marketing yourself, your experiences, your personality, your interests, and your unique knowledge and skills.

Building a personal brand allows you to pivot in your career, connect with people on a deeper level, stand out and build the know, like, and trust factor. When you build a personal brand, you make yourself economy proof by becoming the “go to expert” and solving a big enough problem.

Ask yourself…

What makes me unique?

What am I skilled and knowledgeable on?

What problems can I help solve?

What do people naturally come to me for?

What do I want to be known for?

A favorite personal brand example of mine is Sara Blakely, the founder of Spanx, you know those amazing things that we wear under our clothes to make us look slimmer? Yeah like one of the best inventions ever! She has built a personal brand empowering women on her Instagram and speaking at conferences, she’s stepped out behind her incredibly successful business to build a brand as a thought leader.

As a makeup artist in the beauty industry for so many years, the questions I was always asked were, “What do you love most about doing makeup? What are your favorite products? What are your top tips for a 5 minute makeup routine?” It use to drive me crazy because I’m thinking there’s way more than just makeup tips in this brain of mine!

It wasn’t until I started to build a personal brand outside of my makeup artistry business that people became more interested in me. I started sharing my stories, my personal experiences of transformation, I shared my strategies and methodology for business and personal success. People started to see me, not just my craft, by building a personal brand I was able to pivot in my career and establish myself as a transformational life and business coach.

5 Steps to Building Your Personal Brand

Craft Your Story

Sharing you story will connect you with others who need to hear what you have to say. If you tell your story in a compelling way and have others say, “Omgosh me too!” you connect with them on a deeper level.

Get Social

You want to start building your community and focus on serving not selling. Respond to comments on social media, don’t be afraid to take the conversation into your direct messages, consistently post valuable and useful content.

Know Who You’re Talking To

It helps to know your target market and specifically who your ideal client is so you can craft your message. Once you know your ideal client you can start talking directly to her and building a relationship.

Solve a Problem

Find out what your ideal client struggles with and then solve her problem, become the “go to” person in your industry… this does not mean be the only expert but become a contributor.

Make it Personal

Share who you really are, pull back the curtain on your life and share what makes you unique because the thing that makes you different is your greatest asset.

Building a personal brand is about finding your voice, sharing your story, and building your community! If you have a desire to become a thought leader in your industry, building a personal brand is imperative. Even if you don’t but you want to stand out, building a personal brand will set you apart from the rest.

I would love to hear from you, let me know in the comments if you’re building a personal brand or if you want to start!

xo,

Kim

Would you rather watch than read? Check out this video below about how to build a personal brand!

Inspiring Women with Self-taught Illustrator

I loved having Jessi Bordi (who also happens to be my sister!) in my studio to talk about how she became a self-taught illustrator and how commitment and mindfulness have changed her life and business.

My favorite tweetable moment was when she said, “Be okay with sucking.”

You can follow Jessi on Instagram at @hazelandgraceillustrations.

Let us know if the comments what your takeaways were and if this inspired you to learn something new!

xo,

Kim

My Interview with Yvonne DiVita of Nurturing Big Ideas

Thank you to Yvonne DiVita of Nurturing Big Ideas for having me on as a guest for her show, “Conversations with Smart Women”.

We had a great conversation about stepping into the next level version of yourself and how clarity leads to abundance and success.

If you would like to learn more about my coaching services please go to my Contact page.

To learn more about Yvonne and her services please go to her website.

xo,

Kim

How to Make Self-Care a Priority

How to Make Self-Care a Priority

Mothers and women in general are burnt the hell out, it’s a tired that no amount of sleep can cure, an emotional exhaustion that we can’t seem to crawl out of.

This conversation keeps showing up in my coaching sessions and in talking with friends, we’re at a breaking point but we don’t know how to stop it. They’re telling me in hushed whispers…

“I’m trying to do everything, I have no time to myself.”

“I’m exhausted and I lose my temper.”

“I don’t even know who I am anymore.”

You love your spouse, your kids, your life but you’re tapped out and you’re running on fumes. There’s nothing more to give but yet we keep pushing, waiting for the answer to our prayers of things to slow down, so we can stop feeling so damn stressed out and anxious all the time.

Self-care is a buzzword we hear a lot now but what does it really mean? The dictionary defines self-care as “the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one's own health.” We can’t pour from an empty cup, we need to fill ours up first so we can be all that we need to be for the one’s that we love. Especially us mothers we tend to over give of ourselves but the people who love us need us to be happy, not perfect and that means taking care of ourselves.

Maybe that means something as simple as going to get a pedicure, taking a day to read a book and drink tea alone or going on a hike and being in nature… whatever it is, you get to define what self-care is for you.

Life coach in Virginia Beach

Here are some tips to help you make self-care a priority:

Be honest with yourself

It’s time to let go of the perfect facade. Who are you trying to impress when you over volunteer your time, say “Yes” to doing things you hate, or strive for perfection for your kid’s birthday party? We have to let go of perfection, shut down Pinterest for a minute and know that done is better than perfect. If you’re overextending yourself to please others and burning yourself out in the process, get use to saying “No” more and making yourself a priority. Find a group of women that you can be authentic and real with, these women are your tribe.

Establish boundaries

Minimize the time you spend with “energy vampires” basically the people who suck the energy from you. Set your intention for how you want to feel for the day when you first wake up and if something or someone is trying to pull you from feeling the way you want to feel, try to avoid spending as much time with them. Intentions that I often set for the day are to feel calm, connected and to have fun.

Ask for help

Maybe you need to hire a sitter or ask your family for help. You could have your groceries delivered, have someone clean your house, whatever you can do to take some things off your plate so you don’t feel so overwhelmed. We can not nor should we try to do all the things by ourselves, ask for help when you need it and try to ask before you feel the overwhelm as it’s harder to shift out of when you’re in it, with an overflowing calendar of responsibilities.

Make a happy list

Have a list of 20 or more things that you love to do that make you feel seriously happy. This could be listening to you favorite music, dancing in the kitchen while making your kid’s lunches, spending quiet time meditating for a few minutes each day or going to a dance class. This is your list of the things that bring you the most joy, refer to this list often and incorporate as many as you can each day.

Schedule it

If it’s not in the calendar, it’s not going to happen! We are busy and we often put others before ourselves so we have to schedule our self-care time just like everything else. Putting ourselves first is hard and can bring up negative feelings. Let yourself feel them, maybe write them down in your journal and think back to a time when you were told or shown that in order to be liked you had to be everything to everyone or you aren’t a good mother unless you’re running yourself ragged.

Let me know in the comments, are you feeling burnt out? If you currently have a self-care practice and are making it a priority in your life, share with us in the comments.

If you’re feeling the burn and want more help contact me to set up a coaching session, I can help you work through your feelings and give you tools to minimize the stress and anxiety that you’re feeling so you can feel happier and more fulfilled in your life.

xo,

Kim

Image credit: Djordje Petrovic via Canva

Featured on Enlightenedhood Podcast

Life Coach Virginia Beach Podcast.png

I’ve been featured on the Enlightenhood podcast talking about motherhood, mindfulness and staying sane while raising kids and running businesses. 

Go to iTunes to listen and let me know in the comments if you got any “Aha” moments from listening!

xo,

Kim

My Coaching Space

life coach office space
 
life coaching office space

Who says coaching spaces have to be plain and nature sounds playing in the background?!

I’m not your typical life coach and neither is my space. My space is beautiful, bright and inviting and is the perfect space for us to meet for consultations and in person coaching sessions!

My coaching style is a little bit different, I work as a transformational coach which is different than traditional therapy and goes deeper than typical life coaching.

Traditional therapy works with past trauma, diagnosing and treating mental illnesses.

Life coaching works with defining goals and creating a plan of action to help you get there.

Transformational coaching helps you define what you want and uncover the limiting beliefs that are holding you back. I believe this is the way to see results faster and with more lasting results than if we just worked with your goals alone.

In order to get to the next level version of ourselves we have to understand what’s holding us back. Is it procrastination, lack of confidence, a past money story? In business and career, are you afraid of showing up and being seen? Do you not feel worthy and valuable?

In my coaching sessions I’ve been able to help women get unstuck, re-ignite their passion, and feel more confident. I give you the tools to continue your growth long after our coaching sessions are finished because our growth and expansion never ends.

Have you ever heard of the saying, “new level, new devil”? It’s true, to become the most successful and happy version of ourselves we have to know that the “devil” is our own mind. It can work against us and hold us back from everything we desire if we don’t know how to take control of it and make it work for us.

It is my passion and mission to help women become the best version of themselves. If you would like to book a consultation with me over the phone or in person go to my Contact page!

xo,

Kim

Overcoming Your Triggers

Life Coach in Virginia Beach

Confession, I use to be a cabinet slammer.

My husband and I have been together for 21 years (minus the 6 months we broke up when I was 21) so we’ve gotten really good at knowing just the right thing to say, in the right tone, to really piss each other off.

I use to react to everything and sometimes with so much anger I scared myself! It took me many, many years of slamming and screaming to realize I could let the words pass and I didn’t have to react anymore.

I started to recognize the pattern, everything would be good for awhile but then something would set one of us off, we’d fight, play the silent treatment game and make up, only to repeat the pattern again a few weeks later.

In Eckhart Tolle’s book “The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment “ he says, the pain-body is an “accumulated pain that occupies your body and mind. Some people live almost entirely through their pain-body, while others may experience it only in certain situations. Anything can trigger it, particularly if it resonates with a pain pattern from your past. When it is ready to awaken…even a thought or an innocent remark made by someone close to you can activate it.”

Most of the time it’s a learned pattern from our childhood that we repeat in our own lives to be passed down through our children. Once I realized I had a choice to not react, I would even acknowledge out loud, “I know you’re trying to trigger me and I’m not going to let you.”

I had to look at myself as well, what were the things that I said that I knew would cause a fight? I had to catch myself, let the words sit on my tongue for a minute before saying them because I knew if I said them it would be game on.

This has made such a difference in our marriage. Obviously no marriage is perfect and these old habits are hard to break but we’ve gotten so much more aware, even our kids say “Oh you’re triggered!” Start to pay attention to the patterns in your relationships, notice what sets you and others off. Learn to think before you speak.

My main goal is to stay in alignment, a state of feeling good. Being angry and resentful isn’t aligned with me and my core values, its a terrible way to live and affects our children immensely. The good news is you are not doomed to repeat the patterns for the rest of your life but it does take some time and self-awareness. Our happiness can not depend on others acting or being a certain way, we have to find our own alignment and use it as a beacon to guide us.

Notice the next time you feel triggered about something, what were the words and tone the person used? What memories or feelings did it bring up for you? This is a good time to have your journal nearby, learn to write about your feelings instead of always reacting and repeating patterns that no longer serve you.

Have you been living in a state of reaction? Are you ready for change? Let us know in the comments.

xo,

Kim

Are You on Your Own Hero's Journey?

The Hero’s Journey is defined by Wikipedia as a narrative that “involves a hero who goes on an adventure and in a decisive crisis wins a victory and then comes home changed or transformed.” Stories like this have been around forever, there are struggles and challenges but ultimately the hero or SHEro is able to overcome them and returns home as a new way of being, a new person.

This can also happen to us as we go through our own transformation, we feel a stirring in our heart to follow a different path, we feel like we are being guided in a different direction. We come to a crossroads - do we answer the call or continue living the same way?

My story of my own transformation is similar, I was coming off of the biggest year in my business I had accomplished everything I had wanted, every box had a check mark but I didn’t feel happy. Instead I felt burnt out and disillusioned, I started to ask, “Is this all there is just striving for successes?” Feeling happy for a moment when I hit a goal but then going right back down and never feeling fully joyful, happy and excited about my life.

I started to ask, “What is my purpose? What am I really here for?”

At first I didn’t answer the calling I tried to stuff it down, tuck it away but the calling kept getting louder. I can tell you from my own experience I felt lost, confused, frustrated, alone and sometimes even scared because I didn’t understand what was happening to me. Now I know these feelings are totally normal and we don’t have to go through this alone.

It’s much like the caterpillar who comes out as a butterfly, our one true purpose in life is to answer our soul’s calling, if we don’t listen we start to feel stuck, depressed, anxious and even disease can set in because we try to stuff all of our feelings into our bodies.

So the hero goes on this journey and goes through the trials and tribulations but in the process discovers his own personal power and his life is changed forever, he goes back to his life as a different person.

Are you on a hero’s journey?

Do you feel the calling of your soul to follow a different direction?

If you’re feeling like a lost caterpillar right now, it’s okay you’re not alone and you are not crazy, you could just be on your own transformational journey.

If you think you are, I would love to hear where you are in your journey and what you feel like the next step is for you, comment below or send me a message on my contact page!

xo,

Kim

How to Find Your Purpose

life coach virginia beach

This age old question that has been asked since the beginning of time …how do I know what my purpose is?

So many people have no idea or worry they’re going to get it wrong, so instead of making the wrong choice, they don’t pursue any choices.

Your purpose is what you say it is, it’s what lights you up and makes you feel happy, that’s it!. No light comes down from the heavens to bestow upon you your purpose in life, you find it by trying different things.

Most people get tripped up because they think they have to make a job out of their purpose and although I’m a big fan of turning your purpose into profit, that’s not always the case. Sometimes your purpose is what gives your life meaning, fulfillment and fun. You’ll get more enjoyment from your life and share your joy with others…that doesn’t sound so bad, right?

So how do we know what our purpose is? Let’s explore by asking yourself these questions:

What do you love to do for hours without getting bored or tired?

What are you naturally good at, what comes easily to you?

What would you do for free?

What did you love to do as a child?

What do people often ask or come to you for?

One of the things that I love to do is reading but I wouldn’t want to make a job out of reading as that would take the fun out of it for me. Another purpose of mine is helping women connect to their purpose, now that is something I can make a business out of and makes my life more fulfilling!

Pay attention to when you feel the most joy and happiness. If you haven’t felt that way in a long time, ask yourself the questions to finding your purpose, they will not steer you wrong.

Let me know in the comments, do you know your purpose or are you in search of it?

xo,

Kim

My Interview with Lyndsey Johnson of GrowthVine

life coach virginia beach

I was recently interviewed by Lyndsey Johnson of GrowthVine for her women overcoming challenges series.

Lyndsey said, “Fantastic interview with Kim today where we talked about how to stop that speeding train when you want to pivot your business and get out of one that is misaligned!”

See the interview on Facebook!

xo,

Kim

From Photographer to Coach

life coach virginia beach

From photographer to coach, my interview with Elizabeth Henson.

She’s a photographer, podcaster, coach and community builder. She shares advice on pivoting from one career to another and how build a strong community.

To find out more about Elizabeth go to:

 http://elizabethhensonphotos.com

Mothers, is it possible to be wildly successful while raising children?

life coach virginia beach

In a span of 2 days a friend posted on Instagram that work/life balance is hard as hell with her newborn baby, I read a post on Facebook from a woman looking for role models of inspiring, successful mothers because she needed some hope, my coaching client was struggling to balance her high level career and motherhood, and I wrote in my journal after a rough day at home with my sick toddler…

“Is this it, my f*cking life is made up of cleaning, grocery shopping, cooking and few professional successes in between? Is this really it, it doesn’t get any better than this? I’m tired, I feel like I’m being buried alive. I only feel like myself when I’m working.”

The truth is this shit is hard as hell.

I feel like mothers can be broken down into 3 stages:

Infant stage- “WTF why didn’t anyone tell me it would be this hard?”

Elementary age- “Who am I again?”

High school age- “I would give anything to squeeze their squishy toddler cheeks again.”

If you’re in the first 2 stages, I wrote this for you. So the question is, can I live in my purpose, excel at being my highest self while still being a great mother, is this at all possible?

Although I can’t say I have it all figured out and I don’t lose my mind at least once a week, I have realized with a 13, 10, and 2 year old (the last being our bonus baby) is that life goes in seasons and even if this one feels hard and overwhelming a new season is coming. I don’t believe that work/life balance is possible but that in some seasons things will get more focus than others and that’s okay.

What does being a successful mom and entrepreneur look like for you?

First, define what “success” means to you. If success for you means living in a perfectly clean home with healthy dinners on the table every night you may want to hire someone to help you. In our house we are currently doing all.the.things. and some night’s it’s fast food especially during the kids’ sports season, we do what we can, the best we can, we’ve got to let go of that mom guilt it will eat us alive.

If you’re currently doing all.the.things. too try to relax into the chaos because kids come with some major shit! There’s never a time when there aren’t toys all over my house but having two older kids I also realize that the toys will not always be here. As the kids get older the toys get smaller and then non-existent, so as I look around at the baby dolls and play food I try to relax knowing that this will not last forever.

What happens when all the plates go crashing down?

We give ourselves grace, we’re human, not robots. We need to take care of ourselves first (yes I said first) before we give everything we have away and are going to be good for no one. Take time to exercise, have a personal care routine even if that means a 5 minute makeup routine putting it on in the car after you buckle the kids in. Give yourself some time to walk around Target alone, do what you need to do to feel whole and complete. Ask for help when you need it, that is self-care.

Show up as the role model that you are.

I believe that we’re doing our children a huge service by showing them how much we love our work, what it means to be passionate and driven. They will see us typing away at night when the rest of the house is asleep, they hear us on podcasts and see us writing our books and they know that there is possibility out there in the world for them, we are showing them what’s possible.

We would lay down our own lives to save theirs but do we have to lose ourselves completely?

Know that you’re not alone, there are so many of us that feel this way, we do what we can with the season we’re in. Keep your focus on who you want to become and let it pull you forward even when it seems easier to give up. Reach out, ask for help, find a community of women that can support you when you feel like you can’t go on. We’re all in this together, raising children and the consciousness of the planet, this is no small feat so be patient, be kind and love yourself while giving them all that you can!

If you know someone who would like this article, please share it with them!

xo,

Kim

Happiness Is Possible

life coach virginia beach

Let me know if this resonates with you, you set all of these goals for your relationships, weight loss, career and you tell yourself, “I’ll be happy when…(fill in the blank).”

For me it was…

I’ll be happy when I get married.

I’ll be happy when we have kids.

I’ll be happy when we buy a new house.

I’ll be happy when I have a successful business.

I thought if I worked hard enough and accomplished all of my goals I would finally deserve to feel happy. How f*cked up is that?!

Each time I’d hit a milestone I felt a sense of happiness but I just kept moving the goal post further back, withholding my happiness in the process. That was until I cracked, I hit burnout and I couldn’t keep going. I felt defeated, disillusioned (umm when am I actually suppose to feel happy damnit?!) and seriously feeling like I was lacking purpose in my life.

If I wasn’t going hard on my goals I didn’t know how to be anything but hustling and striving. When I started deep diving into personal development is when I realized that I had been doing it all wrong, withholding our happiness makes for a sad life.

Who we’re being is more important than what we’re doing.

So how can we feel happy now? Grace and gratitude are our secret weapons!

  • Every night before bed write down in your journal all of the things you're grateful for.

  • Write down a list of 25 things that make you happy (music, dancing, walking in nature, etc.) and try to do as many as possible each day.

  • Keep a journal of all of your good and bad feelings throughout the day and try to catch negative thoughts before they cause you to spiral by focusing on how you want to feel.

  • Stay focused on your vision while checking in with yourself and being present as much as possible.

Life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed so make feeling good your #1 priority and watch your life change!

Download my Personal Power Workbook to help you discover your vision and help you set goals with soul.

Have you dealt with withholding your happiness? Let me know in the comments!

Are you ready to join a community of like-minded women just like you? Come join my Inner Circle Facebook group.

xo,

Kim

4 Ways to Grow Your Service-Based Business {Fast}

business coach virginia beach

Are you building a service-based business? It doesn’t matter if you’re a real estate agent, a refrigerator repairman (or woman) or a therapist, these tips will help you to grow your business fast.

1. Mindset above all else

Are you focused on your own growth and expansion or are you too busy checking out your competition? Do you know where you’re headed and what the future looks like for you and your business?

Business and marketing plans are great but you really need to know how you want to feel in your business not just in the beginning but 10 years from now. A great book to read in the beginning is “The E-Myth Revisited” by Michael E. Gerber.

When you’re getting your business off the ground it can feel daunting and overwhelming, focus on one step at a time and always show up as the next level version of you. Even if in the beginning you’re making no money, show up as the person that you want to be.

What does your business look like 1, 5 and 10 years from now? I can tell you I see so many new business owners burn out in the first few years because they’re saying “Yes” to everything, they take every job they can and then they get so busy working in their business that they can’t work on their business. Give yourself time to be innovative and creative.

2. Start with your network

In the beginning let people know what you’re up to, reach out and offer to help in exchange for feedback or testimonials. Turn people into loyal, raving fans and you’ll have an army of cheerleaders standing behind you rooting you on and referring you to everyone they know!

You want to become their “go to” resource, you want to become their favorite! It’s more than just building your network it’s about building your community. We all want to feel like we’re a part of something bigger than ourselves, if you can create a community, you will secure the long-term success of your business.

I go to this cute little sandwich shop down the road from my house, every time I walk in the owner greets me as if I’m her best friend, the people who have lunch there stop to chat with her, she’s created a loyal community.

great service + community = life long customers

3. Visibility is your priority

People are busy and easily distracted, they forget so you have to be constantly showing up to remind them. I feel like this is an area a lot of new business owners struggle with, especially women who’re afraid of putting themselves out there and being seen.

Can I find you on a Google search?

Are you showing up on social media?

Are you using hashtags to target your market?

Are you showing up on video?

Are you sharing resources that will help your clients?

4. Do you stand out among your competition?

Every industry is saturated and with people being inundated with information at all times, how do you stand out? By positioning yourself as the expert and becoming their “go to” person you make the competition irrelevant and you do this by building a personal brand. If you plan on selling your business at some point this may not work for you but if this is YOUR business with your name and your reputation, then building a personal brand is imperative.

People want to buy from someone they know, like and trust.

Your personal brand is your story, your message and your mission along with your unique gifts and personality. It’s what makes you different and it’s what will help you to stand out from everyone else.

If you need help growing your service-based business go to my Contact page and let’s see if we would be a good fit for each other!

xo,

Kim

How to Get Unstuck

life coach virginia beach

Do you feel like you’re stuck in a rut? This happens to all of us at some point and it can feel so frustrating, like you have no idea how to get out of it.

I’m sharing my 3 tips to help you get out of feeling stuck, take some time to answer the questions, you may want to get out your journal or notebook.

1. Remember why you started

When you started on this journey however many years ago, what were you hoping to achieve?

What did you want your life to look like?

Who did you want to help and why?

Remembering why you started will take you back to the time that everything felt fresh and new, you felt excited about the journey ahead of you. Give yourself time to reflect on who you were at that time and what you envisioned your life and career would look like.

2. Write down all of your achievements

What are you proud of?

All of the things that you’re proud of write them down and as you’re writing them really feel each and every one of them, let yourself relive the experience. Often times we blow right past our achievements and only focus on the lack or negative aspects in our lives. Give yourself time to relish in the great things that have happened in your life and career.

3. Keep your focus on where you’re headed

What do you want to accomplish in the future?

How do you want to feel moving forward?

Who are you helping and how?

Many times when we feel stuck it’s because we’re in a transition period from one level to the next level. We look at our current circumstances and surroundings, we feel like things aren’t the way we want them to be or they aren’t moving as fast as we want them to, this can leave us feeling frustrated and sometimes even resentful. Keep your focus on where you’re headed while feeling gratitude for where you are currently, knowing that all that you want is on it’s way to you now.

I would love to hear from you, did you find these tips and journal prompts helpful? The key to getting unstuck is to not stay there too long and know that you’re not alone! If you need more help with clarity download my free workbook here.

xo,

Kim

How to Start a Coaching Business

How to Start a Coaching Business.jpg

Do you have a whisper in your heart to help others?

The more women I work with the more convinced I am that we are natural cheerleaders, we love building communities and seeing others succeed. I have met some amazing women with a natural gift for helping others but drown out their abilities with a lack of believing in themselves.

If you feel the whisper to do something more with your gifts and your story I want to help you, I am breaking down the steps to starting a coaching business and help you decide which route is best for you.

What is a coach?

A coach is someone who helps others achieve their goals, they help keep them accountable and give them tools and strategies to help them through each step of the way.

What kind of coach can you be?

I’ve broken them down into 5 main categories and as you can see each category can be broken down into sub-categories, there is no limit to what coaching can do.

Confidence Coach: Helps someone raise their self-confidence, feel more powerful and become more successful in their life.

Health/Wellness Coach: Helps someone with exercise, recipes, meal plans and living a healthier lifestyle.

Business Coach: Helps someone with the business and marketing strategies to grow their own business.

Life Coach: Helps someone with work and life relationships, time management and achieving life goals.

Spiritual Coach: Helps someone to have deeper relationship and more alignment with their source energy.

Executive Coach: Helps organizations or individuals increase their performance and achieve goals.

How to Start a Coaching Business

1. Get the education and certification you need

Most coaching does not require a certification and coaches can learn by their own personal life experience and by learning the fundamentals of coaching. Only a licensed therapist should work with someone who is depressed, suicidal or has gone through some major life trauma.

2. Share Your Story

By being vulnerable and sharing our own personal stories we can connect with others on a deeper level and build a strong know, like and trust factor.

3. Define Your Target Market

Who are you serving and what problem do they have that you want to help them solve?

4. Create an Ideal Client Avatar

Who specifically are you speaking to when writing your content and posting on social media? You should be so clear on this person that you can give them a name and you know everything about him/her.

5. Grow Your Social Media

Gone are the days of advertising in the Yellow Pages and mailing postcards, now we can reach endless amounts of people in our target market right on our phones or computers. Having a solid social media strategy will help you reach your ideal clients and help you build a strong relationship with them.

6. Build a Community

Feeling a connection is key, your ideal client needs to feel like they know and trust you so building a community either on social media or in a Facebook group is key to them feeling safe and opening up their wallets to you.

7. Position Yourself as the Expert

Coaching is a huge industry so how can you stand out from the crowd? By positioning yourself as an expert, sharing blog articles and social media posts that help educate and inspire others.

8. Build an Email List

Have direct contact with your target market via your email list, with social media algorithms constantly changing you never want to be without a way to get in front of your ideal clients at all times.

9. Make Yourself Visible

Create a marketing plan of how often you will show up and where is key to being consistent and seeing growth in your business. Are you focusing on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Pinterest, ect.?

10. Define How You Solve Their Problem

Are you offering 1:1 coaching, a group program or a monthly membership group? Define what you offer that will help your Ideal Client solve their problem.

If you feel like it’s time for you to start your coaching business comment below or reach out on my Contact page and let me know what you’re struggling with right now!

Join my free Facebook group for women business owners!

xo,

Kim

Hampton Roads Networking Group for Women

Business Coach Virginia Beach 4.jpg

Aimee Beltran of Irresistible Icing and I had the best time hosting our first community and networking group for women in Hampton Roads. We wanted to help women to feel more confident, we talked about how to build a personal brand and why it’s important and gave tips on how to finally start using video for your business.

If you’re not in our area but would still like to connect with us you can go to our Facebook pages:

Kim Porter TV and Irresistible Icing

I would like to thank Anna Aragon for her gorgeous food and for her photography skills and our sponsor Jennifer Barnes with Young Living Essential Oils for her beautiful diffuser and oils that made the room smell amazing!

xo,

Kim

How to Pivot in Your Career

life coach virginia beach

Are you feeling stuck and unfulfilled in your career? It may be the right time for a career pivot! A career pivot a transition or shift from your current career into a new career but it doesn’t always mean doing something completely different, it may just mean a slight shift in direction.

How do you know when it’s time for a pivot? When you’re being called for more, you feel a loss of purpose or your health is declining because of stress and anxiety. To shift from your old career you could go all out and quit but a subtle shift is sometimes best, it’s changing your sails ever so slightly to start heading in a new direction.

Know Your Long-Term Vision

Sit down with a piece of paper or your journal and start writing out what you want your life to look like 10 years from now. What does a new career look and feel like for you? Where are you? What are you doing? Who are you with? How do you spend your day? Clarity is the most important thing because knowing what you do want helps you to know what you don’t want. If you’re leaving one career for another, know what you really want so you don’t go just recreating the same thing in a new career.

Start Preparing Now

Does taking the leap into a new career mean a loss of income? Start preparing now. Write a list of all of the things that need to happen for you to reach this vision of your new career. Don’t get overwhelmed it doesn’t have to be all done in a day, a pivot is about taking little steps and repositioning your sails. Start following the leaders in your industry that you would like to have a similar career, see what they’re doing and posting about to get an idea of what you should be doing.

Brand Yourself

Start branding yourself outside of your current career, if you’re known for something it’s hard for people to see you as something else so start putting yourself out there. If you’ve been doing your side hustle for awhile starting talking about it more and introducing people to this new side of you. This may be the time to start blogging or posting mini-articles on LinkedIn if you aren’t already, this way you can start getting your thoughts out into the world.

Face Your Fears

What are your biggest fears and whose opinion are you most worried about? Take out a piece of paper or your journal and face head on how you’re feeling and what this might mean for the people closest to you. Don’t feel guilty for wanting to expand there’s nothing wrong with you. You can’t stuff those feelings down and pretend like they don’t exist, if something’s not working instead of putting your head in the sand, address it head on and figure out what it is that will make you feel fulfilled and happy.

Don’t Go Back

Sometimes it’s our instinct to go back to a time that felt happier and easier, that may mean making your business small again or going back to where your career started but you can’t shrink back after you’ve already expanded. Those same feelings that had you looking for something more before may start creeping back up and you’ll end up right back where you started.

Take Stock of Your Inventory

Know your skills and expertise have a real heart-to-heart with yourself and get clear on your strengths. Where do you excel? What’s the part of your current career that lights you up and gets you most excited? Our success leaves clues so find out what it is that you love and that you’re amazing at and use that information to start navigating into new waters.

Ask yourself:

What does a successful and fulfilling career look like for me?

Where do I excel and what do I love doing?

What do I need to do to prepare for a career change?

What are the problems I may face?

If you’re being called for something else it’s not by accident, think of it as being called by your higher self. Whatever your skills and talents are the world needs them and it needs you living full out in your highest purpose!

If you liked this article I would love to hear from you in the comments! Are you considering a pivot in your career? As always if you need help getting clarity around your purpose, if you’re ready for a pivot or full on career change I’m here to help. Go to Work with Me to find out more!

xo,

Kim