I’m changing the name from midlife crisis to midlife meltdown because you don’t want a freaking sports car, you want peace. You fear that time is running out, is it too late to go after your dreams? You worry that you should have this whole life thing figured out by now, you look around and it seems like everyone else does… newsflash they are just showing you their highlight reel on social media.
You feel out of control and your emotions are all over the place (hence the name “meltdown” it’s like my toddler, do I want a cookie? A nap? A hug? I don’t know!). If you’re a woman over 35 years old you may be going through perimenopause, the time in a woman’s life before menopause when our periods and hormones are erratic, it can make us feel like we’re going crazy. If we go to the doctor and spill our guts they tell us we’re depressed and to just take this pill and everything will be fine, but it’s our job to take our power back.
How can you feel like yourself again?
Focus on how you want to feel
Start your morning with your intentions for how you want to feel. Mine are “calm, connected and fun” if you google “core desired feelings” you will find lists of words and author, Danielle LaPorte, has a book called “The Desire Map” that goes deeper into this. The idea is to stay connected and aligned with our true selves through out the day, we want to be the calm within the storm, not the actual storm. Pick 3 words that resonate most with you and say them to yourself as you go through your day.
Yeah, yeah I know it’s impossible but at least start having boundaries. Say no to things that don’t feel good and ask for help. If you have a hard time setting boundaries you have to ask yourself why, there may be something from your past if you can’t say no or you feel bad when you speak up.
Create a morning routine
I love waking up before my household does, I journal, read and meditate to help me feel centered. Start a morning routine that makes you feel good and makes you want to jump out of bed. It doesn’t have to be long just some time for yourself so you don’t feel rushed and starting your morning off feeling out of alignment.
Find support and ask for help
If your hormones are all over the place speak to your doctor, you may need to look into hormone replacement. Find a group of women in your area or online that can support you, hire a counselor or life coach that can help you focus on what’s important.
Do things that make you happy
Write a list of 20 things that you love to do that makes you so happy. For instance your morning coffee, buying yourself flowers, listening to music or reading a good book. Try to incorporate as many of these as you can in your day to help you feel high vibe.
Release old goals that are no longer aligned with you
I see this a lot in my coaching practice, women who have old goals that make them feel stuck between their old and their new life that is calling to them. If you’ve had a goal for years but it no longer feels aligned with you, let it go, all you’re doing is holding yourself back and keeping yourself stuck. Embrace the new you that you’re becoming!
The most important thing to remember is that you’re not alone, so many women feel like they are going crazy. This is new territory for us, we have everything we’ve ever wanted, the relationship/marriage, kids, and work but we can also feel like we’re drowning because we are literally trying to do it all. We have the power to take back our lives and to feel the way we want to feel, it’s important and we need to do it!
Does your soul feel bankrupt? I wrote about this earlier this year, check out this blog post: What to do if your soul feels bankrupt
If this sounds like you and you would like help, I offer an introductory coaching call to help you get more clarity and to see if we’re a good fit, go to my Contact page to send me a message.