self-care

How to Step into Your Personal Power

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Are you ready to regain control over your life?

Are you tired of reacting to every little thing so that you feel exhausted and overwhelmed all the time?

Are you ready to know that being YOU is your superpower and that you can create everything that you desire?

What is personal power? There are many different definitions on the internet but my definition is the power you feel when you can handle anything in your life. It’s an unwavering belief that you can have, be and do anything that you desire. I believe personal power is the key for all the happiness, joy, abundance and success. I believe that it’s the key to creating everything that you want in your life.

How to Step into Your Personal Power

1. Think Bigger

Most people are only focused on what’s going on in the here and now. They focus on their problems, they’re stressing over their blessings, or they live in anxiety so worried about what hasn’t happened yet and may never happen. They are so wrapped up in their own drama or other people’s drama that they never think about what’s possible for them.

The most successful people know that you have to first envision it before you can create it. If you only see problems and negativity you will only get more of that. Start thinking about how you want your life to look and feel 5-10 years from now. We are the only creatures on this planet that have the power of imagination, use it to imagine a life that would make you so damn proud. Imagine doing work that feels meaningful and fulfilling, imagine making an impact and being incredibly abundant while doing it.

2. Understand YOU are Not Your Thoughts

We have something like 60,000 thoughts a day and most are from things we’ve picked up through our environment, life experiences, and a large majority of them are mental garbage. The negative thoughts we have tend to play on a loop in our mind, over and over, reminding us that we’re not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough, not tall enough, not skinny enough, etc… When we realize these thoughts are not our own we can begin to plant thoughts in our mind that do align with us, we can chose more positive thoughts.

3. Use Your Emotions as a Guide

Thoughts + Feelings = Action

If you have negative thoughts and are constantly reacting to your life with negative feelings/emotions how do you think your action is going to look? You’re going to go through life with your head down, unhappy, depressed, feeling like everything is against you and in turn you will be attracting negativity everywhere you turn. We can use our emotions as guides, the worse we feel, the more negative our thoughts have been. When we start choosing better thoughts we will feel better.

4. Recognize Your Triggers and Patterns

Do you go around reacting to everything? Someone cuts you off on your commute to work and you get angry. Your kids don’t do what you told them to so you feel resentment and frustration. Your boss is on you about a project at work so you feel stressed and anxious. You check your bank account and immediately it makes you feel awful and like a failure.

What if you could learn what your triggers are and chose not to react? What if you could wake up with the intention for how you want to feel and all day you are actively choosing that feeling? You would feel more powerful, right? When we know what triggers us we have the power to not react in the way that we always have. If you start to notice in your life, we have patterns that replay on a loop just like the negative thoughts in our mind.

In a marriage, your spouse says that one thing in that tone that you hate and it sets you off. You begin to argue and before you know it, you’re arguing the same argument that you have every single time. How did you get there? It’s a pattern.

By choosing not to react in the first place you step into your personal power and you’re choosing how you want to feel instead of reacting to outside influences. Will you always have this amount of control? No, probably not at first because this is a learned practice. It has taken you years to create the pattern, it takes time to create a new one. Know that you may fail over and over again which brings us to the last key piece...

5. Self-Appreciation is the Key

I saved what I believe is the hardest for last. Do you love yourself? Do you tell yourself how awesome and smart you are? Do appreciate your curvy body? Do you look in the mirror and tell yourself how beautiful you are inside and out? Do you love yourself even when things aren’t working out for you?

Loving and appreciating ourselves is one of the hardest things to do. We are told from a young age everything that we’re doing wrong, all the ways we should be different, how we should try to fit in and conform, and years later we don’t even know who we are anymore. We have to know that loving and appreciating ourselves is the first step to personal power as it affects everything in our life.

I almost took this part out because it is so different for everyone but it matters and that is your connection with Source. You are a human body with a soul, an inner being that is pure positive energy. Your soul feels nothing but love for you and everything around you, the further away you are from what your soul feels about you, the worse you feel. Your soul is your connection with Source/God/Universe and you can tap into that connection at anytime. You find it in the quiet spaces of your mind when you are appreciating something or in meditation. This connection is where you will find your peace, creativity and joy.

Most people stumble through life not understanding their personal power. How amazing would it be if we stopped stumbling and became creators in our lives? You have to know that you have the power to choose how you want to feel and you have the ability to create your reality. Once you start on this journey your life will become more fulfilling and so much more fun!

Let me know in the comments, are you ready to step into your personal power?

xo,

Kim

P.S. If you need help creating a big vision for your life, download my Personal Power Workbook.

How to Make Self-Care a Priority

How to Make Self-Care a Priority

Mothers and women in general are burnt the hell out, it’s a tired that no amount of sleep can cure, an emotional exhaustion that we can’t seem to crawl out of.

This conversation keeps showing up in my coaching sessions and in talking with friends, we’re at a breaking point but we don’t know how to stop it. They’re telling me in hushed whispers…

“I’m trying to do everything, I have no time to myself.”

“I’m exhausted and I lose my temper.”

“I don’t even know who I am anymore.”

You love your spouse, your kids, your life but you’re tapped out and you’re running on fumes. There’s nothing more to give but yet we keep pushing, waiting for the answer to our prayers of things to slow down, so we can stop feeling so damn stressed out and anxious all the time.

Self-care is a buzzword we hear a lot now but what does it really mean? The dictionary defines self-care as “the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one's own health.” We can’t pour from an empty cup, we need to fill ours up first so we can be all that we need to be for the one’s that we love. Especially us mothers we tend to over give of ourselves but the people who love us need us to be happy, not perfect and that means taking care of ourselves.

Maybe that means something as simple as going to get a pedicure, taking a day to read a book and drink tea alone or going on a hike and being in nature… whatever it is, you get to define what self-care is for you.

Life coach in Virginia Beach

Here are some tips to help you make self-care a priority:

Be honest with yourself

It’s time to let go of the perfect facade. Who are you trying to impress when you over volunteer your time, say “Yes” to doing things you hate, or strive for perfection for your kid’s birthday party? We have to let go of perfection, shut down Pinterest for a minute and know that done is better than perfect. If you’re overextending yourself to please others and burning yourself out in the process, get use to saying “No” more and making yourself a priority. Find a group of women that you can be authentic and real with, these women are your tribe.

Establish boundaries

Minimize the time you spend with “energy vampires” basically the people who suck the energy from you. Set your intention for how you want to feel for the day when you first wake up and if something or someone is trying to pull you from feeling the way you want to feel, try to avoid spending as much time with them. Intentions that I often set for the day are to feel calm, connected and to have fun.

Ask for help

Maybe you need to hire a sitter or ask your family for help. You could have your groceries delivered, have someone clean your house, whatever you can do to take some things off your plate so you don’t feel so overwhelmed. We can not nor should we try to do all the things by ourselves, ask for help when you need it and try to ask before you feel the overwhelm as it’s harder to shift out of when you’re in it, with an overflowing calendar of responsibilities.

Make a happy list

Have a list of 20 or more things that you love to do that make you feel seriously happy. This could be listening to you favorite music, dancing in the kitchen while making your kid’s lunches, spending quiet time meditating for a few minutes each day or going to a dance class. This is your list of the things that bring you the most joy, refer to this list often and incorporate as many as you can each day.

Schedule it

If it’s not in the calendar, it’s not going to happen! We are busy and we often put others before ourselves so we have to schedule our self-care time just like everything else. Putting ourselves first is hard and can bring up negative feelings. Let yourself feel them, maybe write them down in your journal and think back to a time when you were told or shown that in order to be liked you had to be everything to everyone or you aren’t a good mother unless you’re running yourself ragged.

Let me know in the comments, are you feeling burnt out? If you currently have a self-care practice and are making it a priority in your life, share with us in the comments.

If you’re feeling the burn and want more help contact me to set up a coaching session, I can help you work through your feelings and give you tools to minimize the stress and anxiety that you’re feeling so you can feel happier and more fulfilled in your life.

xo,

Kim

Image credit: Djordje Petrovic via Canva