In a span of 2 days a friend posted on Instagram that work/life balance is hard as hell with her newborn baby, I read a post on Facebook from a woman looking for role models of inspiring, successful mothers because she needed some hope, my coaching client was struggling to balance her high level career and motherhood, and I wrote in my journal after a rough day at home with my sick toddler…
“Is this it, my f*cking life is made up of cleaning, grocery shopping, cooking and few professional successes in between? Is this really it, it doesn’t get any better than this? I’m tired, I feel like I’m being buried alive. I only feel like myself when I’m working.”
The truth is this shit is hard as hell.
I feel like mothers can be broken down into 3 stages:
Infant stage- “WTF why didn’t anyone tell me it would be this hard?”
Elementary age- “Who am I again?”
High school age- “I would give anything to squeeze their squishy toddler cheeks again.”
If you’re in the first 2 stages, I wrote this for you. So the question is, can I live in my purpose, excel at being my highest self while still being a great mother, is this at all possible?
Although I can’t say I have it all figured out and I don’t lose my mind at least once a week, I have realized with a 13, 10, and 2 year old (the last being our bonus baby) is that life goes in seasons and even if this one feels hard and overwhelming a new season is coming. I don’t believe that work/life balance is possible but that in some seasons things will get more focus than others and that’s okay.
What does being a successful mom and entrepreneur look like for you?
First, define what “success” means to you. If success for you means living in a perfectly clean home with healthy dinners on the table every night you may want to hire someone to help you. In our house we are currently doing all.the.things. and some night’s it’s fast food especially during the kids’ sports season, we do what we can, the best we can, we’ve got to let go of that mom guilt it will eat us alive.
If you’re currently doing all.the.things. too try to relax into the chaos because kids come with some major shit! There’s never a time when there aren’t toys all over my house but having two older kids I also realize that the toys will not always be here. As the kids get older the toys get smaller and then non-existent, so as I look around at the baby dolls and play food I try to relax knowing that this will not last forever.
What happens when all the plates go crashing down?
We give ourselves grace, we’re human, not robots. We need to take care of ourselves first (yes I said first) before we give everything we have away and are going to be good for no one. Take time to exercise, have a personal care routine even if that means a 5 minute makeup routine putting it on in the car after you buckle the kids in. Give yourself some time to walk around Target alone, do what you need to do to feel whole and complete. Ask for help when you need it, that is self-care.
Show up as the role model that you are.
I believe that we’re doing our children a huge service by showing them how much we love our work, what it means to be passionate and driven. They will see us typing away at night when the rest of the house is asleep, they hear us on podcasts and see us writing our books and they know that there is possibility out there in the world for them, we are showing them what’s possible.
We would lay down our own lives to save theirs but do we have to lose ourselves completely?
Know that you’re not alone, there are so many of us that feel this way, we do what we can with the season we’re in. Keep your focus on who you want to become and let it pull you forward even when it seems easier to give up. Reach out, ask for help, find a community of women that can support you when you feel like you can’t go on. We’re all in this together, raising children and the consciousness of the planet, this is no small feat so be patient, be kind and love yourself while giving them all that you can!
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